Trouble in a New Land: Violencia Domestica against Latinas in Cincinnati
by Amelia Berry

Marta* came to Cincinnati five years ago with dreams of greater opportunity for herself and her three daughters. Having been abandoned by her first husband in Mexico, she looked forward to a new life with her brother and father in Ohio. But the dream turned to a nightmare after she met Nick*, an American who worked with Marta at a local hotel. After six months of courtship during which Nick treated Marta very well, the pair married. Abuse began almost immediately.
“He would hit me and push me,” Marta recalls. “He wouldn’t let me go out. I couldn’t have friends, and I wasn’t allowed to call my mom in Mexico; he said it was too expensive. I was working, but he took my money and kept it from me. I had to work a lot because he needed money. He called me stupid, cursed at me all the time, and made excuses for everything he did.”
Nick, a U.S. Citizen, also neglected to file paperwork for Marta’s green card.

“I tried to leave a couple of times, but he told me, ‘if you leave me I’ll call the police, I’ll call your job and tell them you’re illegal. If you don’t do what I tell you, you’ll see the consequences.’” Even so, Marta and her three daughters left twice to stay with Marta’s father. Both times, however, Nick showed up promising to change, promising to file Marta’s immigration papers, reminding Marta that she needed him to support her kids.
It wasn’t until Marta found out that Nick had sexually assaulted her two youngest daughters that she left for good. “When I found out what was happening with my kids,” she says, holding back tears, “I knew I’d never go back again.”

Domestic Violence: an Epidemic of Power and Control

Marta is one of the 5.3 million women (Centers for Disease Control) who become victims of domestic violence in the United States each year. In 2000, 1,237 of these women were murdered by the person – usually a husband or boyfriend – who was abusing them. Studies show that immigrant women are battered at least as often as non-immigrants – with nearly one in three women experiencing abuse during her lifetime – and that immigrant women are more likely than non-immigrants to die as a result of abuse (www.endabuse.org).

Domestic violence happens when one partner in a relationship aims to control the other partner through the use of verbal, emotional, economic, physical, or sexual force. It is a pattern of behavior that generally escalates in frequency and severity over time. By the time the physical abuse begins, the victim is often heavily invested – emotionally, socially, and financially – in the relationship. In the case of immigrant victims, the abusive partner may be her only source of support in the United States.

Besides the physical and sexual abuse, put-downs, and economic control that many abusers use to control their victims, men who abuse immigrant women also utilize a number of tactics which specifically exploit the vulnerabilities of their victims. Like Nick, abusers often do not file paperwork to legalize the immigration status of their victims, or they file the paperwork but constantly threaten to withdraw it if the victim doesn’t do what the abuser wants. An abuser may also prevent his victim from learning English, threaten the victim’s family or friends in the home country, tell the victim she will be deported if she seeks help, or tell the victim he will get custody of the children if she leaves him. All of these actions tighten the abuser’s grip on his victim, isolating her from support, resources and information and heightening his control over her.

Deciding to Leave

If he’s treating her so badly, many ask, why doesn’t she just leave? Battered women are often depicted as apathetic victims who are too weak to leave. In fact, women who are being abused are constantly taking proactive steps to stop the abuse. Many women seek advice from friends, family, or clergy. Most women also eventually discuss the situation with the abusive partner. They may try to negotiate with their partners to come to an agreement that will make the abuse stop. Battered women often change their own behaviors, hoping that something will change. Unfortunately, this does not stop the violence. These “solutions” fail because they treat the abuse as a conflict, something that can be solved through compromise, rather than abuse, which is caused by one partner and will only be solved when that partner takes full responsibility for his actions.

While love for and emotional attachment to the abusive partner often plays a role in this difficulty, battered women encounter countless other barriers as they seek safety. With little or no support network, fear of being ostracized by the community, limited English ability, fear of deportation, fear of losing the children, and lack of information about rights, resources, and the U.S. legal system, immigrant women who succeed in leaving abusers have to overcome overwhelming challenges to do so.

Marta recalls her fears about leaving before she had learned of the abuse of her daughters: “I was scared to be by myself. I didn’t have anyone in this city – only the kids and me. So when I was with him I thought, ‘you can do anything you want to me, but I need to be here because I need a place for my kids.’ I felt like I couldn’t make it on my own without someone to support me. But the truth is, he never supported me.”

Finding Hope

When Marta left her husband, she fled with her daughters to the YWCA Battered Women’s Shelter, where she was connected with the Legal Aid Society, who helped her with her immigration and divorce cases. The YWCA staff also helped her find counseling for herself and her daughters.

Two years after leaving her husband, Marta is optimistic about her future: “Last year I bought my own car. It’s not a new car, and it’s a small step, but it’s something I can feel good about because I bought it myself. When I started living with [Nick], he said I couldn’t do anything, that I needed him for everything. But it’s not true. I can do it by myself. And I proved to myself that I can do it. I don’t have a perfect life, but I’m still working on it. I know that whatever I want, I can do it.”

Marta hopes that, by sharing her story, she can reach other Hispanic women who are being abused. Speaking to these women, she urges, “Leave the relationship. Even though you’re scared. Even if you’re illegal. There are some places that can help you. You think you don’t have any support from anybody, but that’s not true. There’s always someone there to help.”

As for Marta, she is enrolled in a job readiness program at the YWCA. She recently received her work authorization, and hopes to find work in an office. She marvels at the progress she has made in the two years since she left her husband.

“I feel so much support right now,” she says, “and I feel good.”

If you or someone you know needs help, call the YWCA Battered Women’s Shelter or the Rape Crisis & Abuse Center PROTECT Hotline at 513-872-9259. This 24-hour hotline is confidential, and telephone interpretation is available to callers free of charge.

*Names have been changed to protect the privacy of the victim and her family.

Amelia Berry coordinates the Alliance for Battered & Abused International Women (513-361-2146) at the YWCA of Greater Cincinnati. The Alliance provides training, outreach, and multilingual materials on domestic violence in immigrant communities.